It's been that long, I genuinely don't know how or where to start this post... so, hi? I was going to apologise for being so MIA over the past year, but when I really sit down and think about it, I shouldn't be so caught up in what other people think or what I feel is 'expected of me' with having a blog. Obviously I love all of you that read my blog (if there's any of you left!) and I feel super bad for just disappearing off the scene with no real explanation.
However, I've definitely learnt that it is more than ok to have a break from time to time. Sometimes life just gets in the way and there's nothing you can do about it...
and that's OK!
I think the break is honestly what I needed after the year I had. Without going into too much detail, I lost my mum just over a year ago (which some of you may know about if you follow me on twitter), 2 weeks after starting the training course for the new job I got. So as you can imagine, everything was a bit stressful for a good while. Since then my health decided to take a turn for the worst, probably due to the upset and the stress I was facing. I had my appendix removed in August which I had a lot of complications with afterwards, my tonsils removed last month as a result of having tonsillitis 12 times last year and I'm having another operation in a few months time... yeah, I know. I can't quite believe it all myself.
Losing my Mum has by far been the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my life. Nothing can ever prepare you for losing a loved one - absolutely nothing. It came as such a shock to me and my family and I just retracted from everything for a while, I needed to get my head in a better place. I've come to learn that the death of a loved one is not something you just 'get over', you just learn how to cope with it over time. Everyone grieves differently and I think I'm just struggling with the whole 'coming to terms that she's actually gone' thing.
I don't want to go on and on and feel like I'm moaning but just wanted to give you a quick life update and let you know that I am back. Hopefully for good this time, if life doesn't decide to absolutely dick me again. Great choice of words Krystal.
So to those still around, thank you for sticking with me and I hope you'll continue with me on this new chapter!
Much love,
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